Seeking Vengeance

 Chapter 2 - Post Resurrection Problems

After that conversation with Spike that night, I knew I had to do something. Well, even before that. When we got back to the house, hoping Buffy was there, what did I see? The two of them, holding hands, looking like lovers. I don't think the others saw it, but that didn't matter. I knew I had to do something. Buffy was obviously not herself, or she wouldn't have let that filthy thing touch her.

It's important to me, you know? Being part of the team, doing my bit for the Slayer. Giles has his books, Willow has magic. What do I have? It's always annoyed me, that I've been the doughnut boy. The pastry collector. The coffee provider. I mean, apart from the military knowledge I got by accident, what have I contributed to the effort? And I can't count the jokes.

So, when I saw that, I knew this was my chance. This was my opportunity to do something for Buffy that no one else would. I knew Spike would use the situation to worm his way into Buffy's life. Why can't he see that she's not, and never will be, interested? That his very touch defiles her, making her unworthy of her calling? I mean, Angel was hard enough to understand, but he had a soul. Spike has nothing going for him, but, even before she died, Buffy kept cutting him slack. She should have just staked him first chance she got, or at least after that whole 'chaining her up and offering to stake Dru' thing. I never understood why she didn't.

She's special. I mean, there's the whole 'chosen one' thing, but it's more than that. She's got everything. Courage, strength, love .. There's a joy about her, most of the time. I mean, the last year wasn't kind to her. A hellgod after her sister and her mother dying, but the spark was still there. She did what she had to do, even if it meant dying.

The time without her, well, it was like the sun didn't rise in the morning. Our lives, Willow's Giles' and mine, they'd revolved around her for so long, that without her, everything was hard. And the bot? Do I have to say another Spike-induced travesty? Having it around was a necessary evil, but it hurt. Of course, Spike couldn't look at the thing. Guilty conscience? Wait, did I say conscience? He couldn't have one, not without a soul. Probably just didn't want to be reminded that it wasn't still programmed for his 'pleasure'. Another reason Buffy should've staked him.

I'm not saying Spike wasn't useful while she was gone. The muscle was useful, and Dawn, well, she showed the same lack of discernment that her sister did. She liked having him around. And, it gave the rest of us the chance to research the spell Willow used. But, it was only a temporary thing. Now we've got Buffy back, we don't need him.

After we spoke to Spike, Anya and I went home. I was buzzing, the feeling of being part of the spell to bring someone back from hell, well, it's a major high, let me tell you. Long after Anya was asleep, I lay there, thinking about what happened, remembering ..

I slept eventually, deeply, dreaming that Anya was trying to wake me to play a word game. Odd sort of dream, really. I wakened suddenly when the phone rang. As I listened to Willow describing what had happened, I couldn't help but hear Spike's words. Consequences. There're consequences. Whatever happened, we had to sort out this problem without Buffy knowing. It would be just like Spike to go running to Buffy, telling her that her friends had endangered the world in some way.

Then, Anya started trying cut her face with a butcher's knife. I jumped towards her, and managed to get it away from her, but she flopped on the floor, unconscious. I was pretty shaken up by then, I can tell you. It sounded like what was happening with the others, and we agreed to get together to research.

It was daylight by the time we got to Buffy's, and we met in the garden, trying not to waken her. According to Willow, it was a hitch-hiker, something that came back with Buffy, and Anya knew it could happen, but assumed we all knew about the possibility. Sometimes I think she forgets we haven't all been around for a thousand years. Anyway, we agreed to get together that evening to research. I dropped Anya off on my way to work, and went to pay Spike a visit. Despite what happened, I couldn't think beyond the problems he could cause.

The thing is, I remember how Buffy was with Angel. She loved him. I never knew why, but she did. I think it was the whole 'older man who could look after her' thing, at least partly. I mean, at that time, her Dad was still in her life, if only occasionally, and she was the Slayer, with all the vulnerability that brought her. I know, she's been with Riley since then, but he couldn't cut it. He always felt she didn't really love him. I think it might've worked if he'd stayed around, but he didn't. So, she was left by another man, and I was thinking, just how attractive is a man who won't leave? I mean, won't leave even when you tell him outright to just go.

I couldn't take a chance with my best friend. I didn't think she'd ever look at Spike that way, but she was different. It was almost like she wasn't quite there. We didn't know what she'd been through, and she wasn't telling. But, in the back of my mind I was scared. Scared that pain had become so much a part of her, that a vampire lover would seem natural, especially one who wasn't going to leave.

When I left Anya, I went to Spike's crypt. I went in, not making any particular effort to be quiet. He was slumped in his chair in front of the TV. By the looks of it, he'd had quite a party the night before. Well, a party for one, anyway. He didn't hear me coming.

Like that, asleep, he looked remarkably human. It made what I'd come to do harder, but I was determined. Whatever lay ahead for Buffy, I had to make sure being ensnared by Spike wasn't on the agenda.

As I stood there, he woke, blustering about Willow. I didn't listen, didn’t take the chance that he'd say something to make sure I'd change my mind. Talking is something Spike's always been good at.

I pulled the stake from my pocket, and pushed it into his chest.

The dust seemed to coat the chair, and when I looked down at my clothes, they were covered too. I tried to clean it off, but it stuck. I didn't remember vampire dust being like that before. Typical of Spike. Even after you stake him, he still hangs around being annoying.