The Rest of My Life

Chapter 47 - 28 July 2004

At first, I think I just imagined it. There's a more definite movement of Spike's tongue along my thumb, but when it happens again, and is immediately followed by him opening his eyes, I know he's back. I'm on his lap and kissing him in a second, but he pushes me away too quickly.

"Where's Willow?"

"She's in the bedroom. She's unconscious. Moira's with her, trying to bring her around. What happened?"

He jumps up, placing me on my feet as he does so.

"Who else is there?"

"Gus, Giles and Dawn. Angel’s still at the hospital."

He takes my hand in his, and we go into the bedroom. The sight that meets us there is rather surreal. Moira's sitting on the bed next to Willow. Her hands are on Willow's head, and her normally white hair seems to be glowing. Dawn and Giles are watching, looking concerned, but glance up in surprise as we go in.

"Spike!" Dawn squeals, coming to meet us. She hugs him, then looks back to the bed.

"What's happening?" Spike demands.

"More important, what happened to Willow?" Giles intervenes. "If we understood that, perhaps we would have more success at understanding how to bring her round."

"In a nutshell, found Fiona. She's being held captive by yet another other-worldly Angelus. He's already made a pin-cushion of that world's Buffy, but she's not going to live for long, so he's setting up for Fiona to take over. We've got to get her out of there pretty quick or she's in for a world of pain."

"If you found her, why didn't Willow bring her back?" Gus is there, in front of Spike and he’s looking irate.

"Don't really know. I went towards the Slayer, saw Angelus, and found myself inside the Slayer's head. Willow was gone. Now, I need to go back and get Fiona."

“You left her there? Knowing that, you just left her?” He looks like he could hit Spike, and Spike cringes at the prospect. We all know that Gus wouldn’t stand a chance against Spike, but I also know Spike. He’s feeling guilty enough to let Gus hit him without fighting back.

“Didn’t want to, Mate. But without Willow, I can’t get her home. I spent some time in there, gave her some ideas towards a plan to get away from Angelus, but we need to bring her home. You know I would have stayed if I’d known Willow couldn’t come straight back with me.”

He slumps at that. “I know, Spike. It’s just ...”

“I know, Mate. And I’m going to see that bastard dust before I’m finished, I promise you.”

“It’s too easy, dusting him.”

“’Course it is, but I don’t think we’ve got any other option while we're working so far from home. We’ll just have to settle for making sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else. Ever.”

"What about the other Buffy?" I ask.

"She says she's been dead four times already, and that there's some enchantment on the place she's in that's keeping her alive. Best we can do is hope for a quick end for her, and if she can manage to see Angelus dust first, I think she'll be happy."

I get an awful sick feeling as I think about her, how she must feel, how I’d feel if Angel hadn’t had his soul returned and he’d spent all this time ... I stop that line of thought quickly. She needs our help, not our pity. Spike’s eyes are slightly glazed, showing that he feels the same, and I can see a recognition in Giles' eyes too, perhaps since he’s experienced Angelus first hand. I see his eyes meet Spike’s and there’s a single flash of understanding between them. I know there’s no love lost between Spike and Angel, but for the first time, I suspect a deeper reason than simply incompatible personalities and an overload of testosterone.

Moira has stopped glowing, and turns around to face us.

"I'm afraid I can't reach her. I can’t find anything wrong, as such. Gwynneth’s been working with me, but we both think it’d be better if she came here in person. She’s a gifted healer, and she’ll find it easier without my interference."

Spike tenses at the news. “We’ve got to do something, and fast. Fiona's about to find out how Angelus destroyed Dru's sanity first hand."

"Spike, how did you get back? I thought ...” Moira gets up from the bed and moves towards us, her eyes on Spike.

“I’m fine, Mrs. M. Buffy sent out the one signal she knew I couldn’t ignore. But I’ve got to go back.”

“What happened?”

Spike repeats the bare bones of the story, while I keep an eye on Gus who’s pacing the room. He looks as if he’s having a problem holding on to his anger.

“I'll be your guide." Moira’s voice is quiet after the last exchange, but it gets everyone’s attention.

"Moira, no! You're not strong enough," Giles says, his voice almost shockingly loud.

"I'll be fine. Spike's already been there; it should be easy enough for him to go back. We'll pop in and transport Fiona back here. Gwynneth's going to fly up as soon as she can. Unfortunately, Willow's the most adept at teleporting I've known, apart from me. I don't do it a lot these days because, well, it's not something you do except in a dire emergency. And, by the sound of it, this certainly merits that label. Spike, you need to think about what we can do for the other Buffy. Could we bring her back here? If there’s any chance we could save her and send her back ...”

“I don’t think she wants to be saved – not any more. She’s been dead before, and ...”

“Let her die,” I say quietly. Memories of being brought back from the dead are still vivid even though I’m long over the worst of them.

“We should bring her back here,” Spike suggests.

“But ...” I butt in.

“No, Buffy, hear me out. We can bring her back here. She might die pretty quickly, but at least she won’t be alone, and there won’t be any chance of Angelus hurting her any more, or, if we manage to dust him, of anyone else deciding to take over where he left off. Once she’s here, if there’s time, we can give her a choice – let Gwynneth and Moira see if they can heal her, or let her die among friends.”

“Friends?” Buffy asks. “Who?”

“Ok, I know, she wouldn’t consider me a friend, and she wouldn’t know Dawn or Moira or Gus. She might not want to see Angel, but she might, and if she doesn’t, then there’s Giles and even Willow if she’s awake. And at least she wouldn’t be alone.”

“Ok,” I agree. “If Angelus has been running free for that long, there won’t be anyone left alive in her world that she cares about. Bring her here too, even if it’s just to die.”

“Let’s get ourselves ready,” Moira suggests to Spike. “Is there more Slayer blood?”

“Yeah. I’ll go and get it.”

Spike leaves the room, and Giles takes that opportunity to speak.

“Moira, this is foolishness. How do you know you won’t just end up like Willow in there? That you’ll be able to get everyone back again?”

“Simple. I won’t use a fail-safe. I’m as certain as I can be that that’s the reason for Willow’s condition. She had a shock – I’d guess seeing Angelus there – and the fail-safe triggered. What she didn’t account for is the tenacity of Spike here – continuing on, regardless of his own safety.”

Spike’s voice comes from the doorway. “I didn’t mean ... I didn’t know ...” Spike looks stricken with guilt.

“Spike, that’s not what I mean. You reacted as you were bound to. Willow thought she was powerful enough to bring you back regardless of your wishes, and in this instance, she miscalculated. I’m hopeful that she’s suffered no permanent damage, so you need to get your mind off Willow and back to the matter in hand.”

“But without the fail-safe...” I start to argue.

"Buffy, think about it. Spike managed to come back with a little help from you last time. If he did it once, there's no reason to think he couldn't do it again."

“What about you? Are you up to this?” Giles’ voice is softer this time.

“Rupert, I’m going to be sitting in a chair, and I’ve got to do a couple of teleportations. It's been a while, but I'll be fine. And anyway, right now, it's either me, or we leave Fiona to her fate.”

“What about Gwynneth? Couldn’t she ...?”

“Gwynneth is a healer. That’s why I contacted her. She has no experience with astral projection. Asking her to go would be foolish, and would need a delay of at least a day, as would bringing someone else more suited to astral projection, and then you’ve got the teleportations. Without blowing my own trumpet, I’m the best bet we’ve got unless you can wake Willow up. Do you want to leave Fiona at Angelus' mercy for a day in our time, bearing in mind that that might be much longer from her point of view? I’m experienced, and the effort will be mental rather than physical, or are you trying to suggest that I’m going soft in the head as well as getting all weak and useless?”

Her tone of voice has Giles looking like a naughty child again, and I've got to be impressed at that skill.

Spike holds up his mug of blood. "Are you sure about this, Mrs. M?" he asks.

“Don’t you start. I’m fine. And I promise to rest after everyone’s safe.”

He takes her hand and squeezes it hard, then lifts it to his lips and kisses it. Moira's eyes take on a sparkle that makes her look years younger for a moment, but then, Spike has that effect on women.

"Right, Mrs. M. Straight in and back again; no detours. Right?"

"Right," she grins. "I'm going to enjoy this. I haven't been anywhere really interesting for a long time."

Spike swallows the blood down and escorts Moira to her chair before settling himself opposite her. A moment later, they're both gone.