The Rest of My Life

Chapter 19

5 July 2004 - London

The flight to London was strange. Oh, the flight itself was pretty much what I'd have expected from a first class journey. It was Phillip who made it seem odd. After the first impression I got, the reality of spending a day in his company was completely different. Oh, he's good looking. I could see the attendants on the flight looking at him admiringly, and I could appreciate his good looks in an impersonal way, but compared to the first time I met him, the effect was vastly different. I honestly wonder if it’s not some mojo’ed clothing like RJ had.

His company left a bit to be desired, too. At first, he chatted generally, then wanted to know details of what I've been working on. I told him about a few things, but for some reason I didn't want to discuss the Slayers problem, and he didn't ask any specific questions. The simple fact that he didn't mention it at all seemed off, as if he’s not privy to that level of information. Later though, I had to listen to chapter and verse of his accomplishments in Brunei.  What was really irritating was the way he dismissed Faith's input to the whole thing, implying that she just turned up for the applause at the end. Now I know Faith, and that's not her style at all. As for the rest of it, I suspect that someone else would have found it fascinating, but for someone who spent seven years on a Hellmouth, it was pretty low key stuff – even with the obvious embellishment. I made a few polite noises and then pleaded tiredness so I could go to sleep. When I woke again, Philip was gone, and when I spotted him again, he'd found another female passenger who seemed to be enjoying his stories more than I did.

Once in London, I declined Philip's offer of a ride to my hotel as I knew Moira had arranged one. Once in my room, exhaustion took over, and after hanging up my clothes for the service, I crashed.

Moira met me at the hotel the next day and accompanied me to the service. It was pretty much what I expected, but fortunately, Giles was due to fly to Cleveland pretty much directly from the church, and since he was swamped by other Watchers right up until he was whisked off to the airport, I didn't have to hear what he had to say about me being in London. Later, though, when I turned my cell phone on, there was a message from him. Its tone was much gentler than I'd expected, just saying that if he'd known I was coming through London on my way to meet Dawn in Rome then he'd have made a point of spending some time with me. I admit feeling relief that he just sees my being here as a consequence of meeting Dawn rather than something I actively chose to do.

Dawn arrived in due course, and we hit the sights. We did the Changing of the Guard, The Tower of London, Oxford Street, Covent Garden, Leicester Square and, at Dawn's insistence, some museums and art galleries. By the time we were due to fly to Glasgow, we needed an extra suitcase between us.

I've had a lot of time to chat to Moira while Dawn proved she has more stamina for shopping than I do. Oddly, the main subject when we've chatted has been me. Or more exactly, me and Spike. I don't know how we got onto the subject, but once we did, it was like opening the floodgates. I found myself telling her things about Spike and me that I haven't told anyone - that I've hardly allowed myself to think. It was almost healing to talk freely for the first time.

And then yesterday, I woke, realised what the date was, and felt a pang of sadness that there wouldn't be a July Fourth celebration for us. Well, I was wrong. Moira had managed to get both Dawn and me tickets to a big ex-pat celebration in the evening. It wasn't the same as spending it with the whole crowd, but these days, Dawn is my family, and when you add her to turkey dinner and fireworks then it makes for a pretty good celebration.

By the time we're were due to leave for Glasgow, I feel like I've known Moira for years. We fly together, and she keeps Dawn and me entertained with stories of her past throughout the wait at Heathrow and the short flight north.  Once we’ve landed and collected our bags, we’re met by a young man - a friend of Moira's called Gus. He's the local Watcher here in Glasgow, and he seems pleasant enough, if a little nervous. There seems to be some sort of silent communication between Moira and him, and I don't mean anything spooky - just the sort of glare and scowl that you sometimes see shared between parents and a child. I must admit that I find that rather amusing as he's a grown man and Moira's just so tiny. I make a mental note to ask her about that later.

Her home is small but lovely. It's part of a much grander building that was once her family home. She doesn't seem at all bitter about occupying a small part of what must have been a huge house.

"Oh, and what would I be needing all that space for? I'd only fill it with more rubbish, and what I've got is as much as I can manage these days."

There's another flat opposite hers, sharing the basement of the building, and she promises that she'll introduce us to the occupant later.

Our room is comfortable, and Dawn and I spend some time unpacking before we join Moira in her living room. It's a small space but it's packed with memories. I begin go see what she meant about 'filling it with rubbish', but it's obvious that this 'rubbish' has a high sentimental value.

Gus came in with us, and he's just finishing a cup of tea when we've finished unpacking. He stands to go but Moira stops him.

"Wait, Gus. Now, Dawn. Would I be right in thinking that you've left lots of friends back in Rome?"

"Er, yes," Dawn agrees, not quite sure what's going on.

"Well, I understand that young people keep in touch these days - all over the world - with something called … instant messaging?

"Yeah," Dawn' answers a bit more surely this time. "I had hoped that Buffy would have a computer in our apartment already, but since she hasn’t, I’ll just have to sort that out when we get there. The time difference with LA's going to make it difficult, though."

"Well, there's only an hour between here and Rome, so that won't be too hard, now will it?"

She turns to Gus before continuing. "Now I know you can spare use of your computer upstairs for a while, can't you?"

"Er, yes. I was going to make some phone calls."

"Good. Why don't you go up and chat to your friends. I'm sure you've got a lot to share, what with the time you spent in London."

"Yeah," Dawn agrees, getting up. It hasn't escaped my notice that she's been watching Gus with a lot of interest since he met us. Gus, on the other hand, has been treating Dawn as an adult, rather than a teen, and that's the sort of thing that always goes down well with my sister, who has honestly believed herself a full member of the adult world for as long as I can remember.

Once she's gone, I wait for Moira to explain what just happened. I know that there was more to it than a wish for Dawn to keep up with her friends, but I admit that I've got no idea what it could be.

"Buffy," she says softly as soon as the thunder of Dawn ascending a flight of stairs dies away.

"Ok, what needed a Dawn-free atmosphere?"

"I've got to know you quite well these last few days, haven't I?"

Wow. Now I really wonder what's going on. If I was getting any sort of tingle, I'd almost expect to find a serpent climbing out of her skull like that time in the Double Meat Palace, or something equally bizarre. But this isn't the Hellmouth, so I just answer, "Yeah, and I though I knew you too."

"Oh Buffy, please don't worry. I only want what's best for you … and someone I've grown to care about. He came here, trying to find a life for himself. He was scared to mess things up for anyone - most of all you - but a little bit for himself too. But he's so stubborn. Wouldn't listen to me, and … Well, apart from anything else, I know that there's more than just your lives at stake here. I can't explain how I know it, but I do. It was as if, when I met him, part of him was missing, and I sense the same thing about you. So, interfering old biddy that I am, I decided to do something about it."

I try to speak, get her to slow down and explain what on earth she's saying, but she just puts a hand up to stop me.

"Please, Buffy. I know you're confused, but I think it'll all be clear in a little while. I'm just going across to the other flat to get someone. Just stay where you are."

And she leaves, and I sit wondering just what sort of 'through the rabbit hole' world I've dropped into. I hear a door opening and a voice, deep and familiar even though I can't hear what's being said. A moment later, I hear Moira's voice close to her door.

"Just go on in, I'll be right behind you."

I hear footsteps approaching and look up.